Kiss me forever.

I was standing on the terrace. I didn’t know why but that day tears started flowing down my eyes. I don’t cry that quickly generally but that day when mom said ‘Rhitika, I feel that you will never be able to fulfil your dad’s dream. Have you seen your marks?’ tears started flowing down my cheeks uncontrollably. What I should have done? I want to run away from the world, maybe this world was not for me. I was tired from my day to day life and to reduce some tension I came up on the terrace. The evening was becoming denser the sky was filled with reddish colour. People say that we can see mars from the earth sometime, till now I was trying to see mars, whenever I see reddish colour of the sky my eyes used to automatically start searching the mars, today also when I reached up, my eyes started searching for the mars, mars which looks like a tennis ball from the earth never came in my eyesight. I don’t know how much it’s true but I know this fact that we can see mars from the earth when I was three years old. A boy of my age who was my best friend that time had told me that thing. I don’t know if it was true or not but I still remember when we were small we used try searching for the mass whenever the sky was red.

 I started looking down from the terrace towards the lawn, old people were performing peculiar exercises and kids were sliding down the slides and falling down on each other. Children of my age were occupying the swing which was their hang out adda and I was standing on the terrace. I don’t know how many times I have tried to join their group, I want to become like them, I want to laugh like them but I was failed. The whole group used to say that I am abnormal and I was no less, even I have given a name to the group “The Idiot Group”

Again a drop of tears fell on my hands, this time I was totally tired, I was fad up with my disciplined life.

‘Rhitika’ I heard my name. I turned back, Om was standing there. He started walking towards me. I turned again and I wiped my tears this time. He was also among one of the studious person on this earth but I think it will be quite a lot better to say that he was one of the perfect people on the earth. He used to top every test and examination and also he used to be in every group. He was not in my school but he was quite famous in the society.

‘How were your half yearly examinations?’ he asked.

‘Fine, but I didn’t top the exam like you’ I said with anger in my voice.

He was trying to say something which I was clearly able to make out from his voice but he was not being able to say even a word because maybe he had sensed the anger in my voice. He closed his eyes for few seconds and then he looked towards me and said ‘I want to say something, but I am afraid that you might become angry, please don’t be angry’ he paused for another few seconds and he spoke again ‘you know I have looked into your eyes many times and every time I feel that your eyes are tired, just don’t try to take pressure, try to enjoy everything. Just don’t keep studying every time, try to do everything you like, try to live your life, try to do what makes you happy, try to achieve your dreams. Work hard but consecutively learn to live life and be happy, learn to love. Try to do what your heart says. I know they call you abnormal, but you are not. You are very intelligent and very pretty.’

Within few seconds he have said so many things which I had never thought of till now, I will not say that I have never thought of but it will be better if I will say I was running away from these things,  I was running away from my happiness. His words have touched my heart. I was just looking towards him, generally I feel irritated even after hearing his name but I don’t know why today his words were music to my ears. Most probably he was the only person who had understood me.

‘If you want, I can help you in any subject’ he spoke again.

I was just looking into his eyes and he was looking here and there, trying to avoid eye contact.

‘I know you are angry and before you will start shouting at me, better I should leave. Sorry if I have said anything wrong’ he said and started walking back.

‘Can you help me in social studies?’ I finally said.

He turned back and walking towards me again ‘Sach?’ he asked.

I nodded and smiled.

‘So now we are friends right?’

‘No, now also you are a stupid for me. If you want than you can help but no friendship’ I folded my arms and I said with enough proud and anger in my voice as if he was asking my help.

‘Okay, than tomorrow at my place in the evening’ he said and started walking back.

I smiled, I was feeling better. I don’t know why it happened today. I don’t know why I was happy after talking with a boy with whom I never used to talk properly from six years.

It was completely dark; there were stars in the sky. I tied my hairs with a elastic hair band, I folded my arms, I took few round on the terrace, than I came down.

Mom was in the kitchen, generally I used to go and I used to say sorry but I don’t know why today I went inside my room and I sat on my bed. I didn’t switch on the lights, there was completely dark in my room, I lied on my bed and his each and every word started coming in my ears. I stood up and switch on the lights suddenly. I went in front of the mirror and I started looking at myself.

‘Am I really beautiful?’ I questioned myself and soon after few seconds I covered my face with my hands and started laughing on my question.

It never used to happen but I don’t know why that day there was smile on my face while having dinner.

‘What happened Rhitika? Looks like you are very happy today’ dad had asked me.

I stop smiling and answered ‘nothing dad.’

I don’t know last time when I had slept with peace as I slept that day. Next day in the morning when I woke up I went to mom and said ‘mom, I am sorry, I will try again and I will give my best in the finals.’

From that day we started studying together every day, at his place. After every three hours we used to take break when his mother used to enter the room with tea and snacks in the tray. Sometimes we used to read comics together; sometimes he used to entertain me telling about his funny friends.

He always used to say ‘Rhitika, this year we will celebrate your result together on the terrace.’

 Few months passed away, I started loving his company, and I had improved a lot in social studies.

It was Diwali that day; the whole sky was sparkling with the lights of the crackers. I was standing on the terrace, today the lawn was decorated with Diyas, every flat were decorated with multi colour lights, kids were playing with the crackers in the lawn and as usual the swing was occupied by the idiot group. Today Om was even joining the group, he was dressed in sherwani. I was looking towards him; I want him to be with me.

He looked up towards me and signalled me to wait by his hands and very soon after saying bye to all of them he moved towards the stairs. I turned back and I started looking towards the stairs, and within few minutes he was there in front of my eyes.

‘Wah, kya baat hai. Today you are looking hot’ he said looking at me.

I smiled at his comments. He came near me and said ‘Happy Diwali.’

‘Same to you, Om’ we started looking towards the lawn. ‘Hey, look it is so beautiful na?’ he asked pointing towards the Diyas in the lawn.

‘Yes it is.’

We stood there in silence for next few minutes, he was looking at the Diyas and I was continuously looking towards him.

 He broke the silence and said ‘I want to say something.’

‘Yes, say.’

‘Not here, come let us sit on the stairs’ he said.

We settle ourselves on the stairs. I looked towards him; he took my hands in his hands and said ‘I love you, Rhitika.’

I was shocked, at his words. I didn’t remove my hands from his. I looked into his eyes. I could see love in his eyes but I don’t know why my heart was broken at this moment. I was almost frozen like an ice. I don’t know why I was scared, he leaned forward to kiss me, I don’t know why but I pushed him back and I slapped him.

I started crying, I ran towards my flat and I locked myself in my room. I cried the whole night. I don’t know what has happened to me but I was just not being able to stop myself from crying so I let it be. I don’t know how I spend the whole night. I have found a good friend but I don’t why this happened to me?

I was from a disciplined family, my mother had never allowed me to watch even a movie than how could he say such things to me and even he tried kissing me.

In few day FA3 test were going to be started and unfortunately they went bad but social studies was very good.

The whole day in the school, I used to think about Om, sometimes I used to be angry on him and sometimes I do even used to miss him.

Final exams were very near, somehow I diverted my mind and I started studying. I remember his each and every word. I started enjoying my studies, I started loving my work. Finally the exams were over, after ten days the result was to be declared. Sometimes I used to stand in my balcony and I don’t know why my eyes should start searching for Om but after that day I never saw him.

Today was the result day and I was holding my result in my hand. I was the topper; I had scored 99.8% in the exams. I checked my marks in social studies and I jumped as I saw my mark, I had secured 96 marks out of 100 in social studies. On the way to home in the car, I just wanted to thank Om, but he was gone. I remember his words ‘Try to do what your heart says.’

I closed my eyes and his face came in front of me. He was the person who had given me some hope. I was completely filled with love, I was filled with motivation. I closed my eyes again and his first speech on the terrace started reaching my ears.

That day I just want to listen to my heart keeping away all the disciplines. I want to kiss that stupid, I want to hug him tightly; I want to slap him again because he was responsible for disturbing my mind so much in these days but at last I want to say him sorry.

It was a month of December and it was almost evening, the sky was reddish. Once again I wanted to go on the terrace and I want to try finding mars. As soon as the car came to a stop, I step outside and I ran towards the terrace. I was almost running and there was only one question and one wish in my mind ‘I doesn’t care if I will be able to see mars or not but I just want to see my love.

I reached on the terrace, I was tired, and I was breathing heavily. He was standing there looking towards the lawn. Before I could say something he said ‘I said na, it will be good and I am sorry for that day.’

He turned towards me, I didn’t say anything but I ran towards him and I hugged him tightly. Tears started flowing down my cheeks. I kissed his forehead, I kissed his cheeks and after few seconds he hugged me too.

I said ‘I want to say something, but not here.’

He smiled. We settle ourselves on the stairs. I took his hands in mine and said ‘I love you too Om, from now your hand, your kiss and you are mine forever, so don’t think of giving it to someone else, Warnaa!!!’

He smiled and kept his hands on my cheeks and asked ‘Warnaa kya?’

I smiled and I leaned to kiss him. We closed our eyes and finally our lips met each others.

I don’t know if I will be able to see mars or not but I think I have found my mars, my love.